Dear Santa,

I'm not one to ask for much, really, but I had a few questions on my mind this year. Being the wise old elf that you are, I was hoping you could help me out with them. I even promise to put a little something extra in your soy milk this year, if you can come up with a few answers.

First of all, what is a "Capitol Tree?" Even a "Holiday Tree" seems a bit strange. In the town where I grew up, next to the tree decorated with multicolored lights, each year a giant Menorah stood proudly through the days of Chanukah. I would never refer to it as a "Holiday Candle." If you celebrate Chanukah, you will have a Menorah. If you celebrate Christmas, then why can't we have a Christmas Tree? Perhaps if I decorated the tree with dradles, the "first harvest" fruits of Kwanzaa, as well as angels, snowflakes, reflector ornaments, and lights, then we could call it a holiday tree. Until then, lets call a Christmas tree a Christmas tree. Why is it that to make something politically correct we have to lose some of the meaning and symbolism?

Secondly, if you have been reading my blog, you might recall my recent reconstruction surgery. The other day I noticed the lovely scars that extend on both sides from my cleavage past my underarms to my back in a "swooshing" pattern. Do you have any connection at Nike? I was thinking that perhaps an endorsement deal might not be so out of reach after all. Talk about product branding.

And finally, I have just one more question. Why do we have to shop so much if you make and bring all the gifts? I've never been able to figure that out . . . well . . . that and why your handwriting was identical to my mother's handwriting. Hmmm.



P.S. I promise I've been good (whether I wanted to be or not).