Wednesday, February 25, 2009
In the Shape of a Heart
The last several weeks have brought highs and lows on the cancer journey. All remains relatively well with my health. I have now hit the halfway mark on chemo treatments: three down and three to go. The side effects seem to arrive earlier and earlier each time and get progressively more difficult, but I carry on knowing that each time the side effects eventually subside and my life remains relatively normal. Well, as relatively normal as life can be when you are bald.

I was recently contacted by Seth Derek Aronson who, unfortunately, knows a lot about cancer treatment and complimentary treatments as a result caring for someone who lost her battle to this disease. Seth is working on a documentary, Killing Cancer: The “Walk Through Fire” Project. You can view a trailer here.

The information on complimentary treatments on his web site truly made me re-evaluate my perspective on cancer treatment. The truth is that many complimentary treatments seem so simple and readily available and don’t seem vigorous enough because we have had traditional medicine so ingrained into our understanding of cancer treatment. One doesn’t have to replace the other. In fact, they should be added to the arsenal of traditional treatment. More important than anything I learned from his web site was the one thing that Seth wrote to me: “Remember to truly believe in your healing - doing so can make all the difference.” This has really stayed with me. In fact, I truly believe in my healing 100%. The release or the “high” (for lack of a better term) that I feel from believing in my healing must free up energy that my body can use to focus on healing and using the traditional medicine more efficiently. I have to thank Seth because it has, as he said, made all the difference thus far.

Even though I am inspired and feeling well, cancer never fails to destroy lives. My friend, Lori, a two-time survivor was just diagnosed with extensive metastases and her prognosis is not good. Each time this happens my heart breaks into a million pieces. I am so tired of watching friends fall to this disease. I am tired of this disease having any power or control in anyone’s life. What is it going to take? With the millions and billions that are thrown at cancer research, what have we missed? It is so hard to keep fighting an endless battle.

I don’t want to end on a depressing note here. I don’t allow myself to wallow in the low points. It simply doesn’t do me any good. Oddly enough, something I continue to see keeps inspiring me. You see it all started with the hat. When the hair came off I started wearing a beret with hair attached (You know, it’s a look. What can I say?). I wanted to dress up the beret so I looked for a sparkly small pin and all I could find in the size I wanted was a red heart shaped pin. It worked for me. Then, when I looked at my scalp one day, I noticed the hair (I shaved it but a fine layer remained) had worn off the top of my head in the shape of a heart. A few days later I spilled something and looked down and the stain was distinctly in the shape of a heart. Then I took a photograph and happened to get a reflection on it. Yep, you guessed it – in the shape of a heart. It has happened time and time again. And it isn’t an abstract heart shape. It is clear as can be. I think the universe is sending me a message that either I need more love in my life or that I need to be aware of the love that fills my life. Either way, it can’t be bad to reminded of love because we all know that love heals.

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Written by Jeannette Vagnozzi
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Name: Jeannette
Location: Southern California, USA

This is my story about being diagnosed with breast cancer at age 39. I thought I was out of the woods, but four years late it came back. This is my quest to be a two-time survivor.

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