Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Return of the Repressed
Something sent me on a blog break and I’m not sure what it was. It could be that rather than documenting my life and my feelings, I’ve just been allowing myself to live in the moment. Hmmm. That sounds pretty emotionally healthy for someone who frequently feels the emotional pendulum never stops swinging. The truth is, I have been busy. Busy keeping myself busy. Busy with doggies and mommies and work, oh my. But fear not for me as catch up time has arrived. My calendar kicks into high gear around March and stays at top speed until sometime around mid-July. Then I have a breather for a couple of months where I can unpack those last few boxes and get all that nasty paperwork caught up and spend time with people I have not been able to see in awhile. Somewhere in there I should have listed having some fun. Of course, the fact that I omitted that tidbit concerns me that I am returning to my workaholic tendencies, but I digress.

Something has me in a bit of a spin today. I’m not sure if it is this icky sticky humid hot weather, the constant barrage of news of violence and devastation all over the world, or the news that Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra have parted company (but they seemed so in love on their made for TV wedding). In reality (which I frequently try to avoid), I spend nearly all of my free time with my doggies. My puppy has topped the scales at 6.1 pounds (2.8 kilos of puppy for my international friends). If my puppy were crack, he’d have a street value of nearly $4 million dollars. To me he is worth much more. He and his momma have wiggled their way into my heart faster than I knew possible. And even when I get a visit from the poo fairy in the middle of the night and I awake frustrated that we are not completely housebroken yet, I simply remember that I psychically opted for the stainguard/scotchguard option when I had the carpets cleaned pre-puppy (life can really be that simple if I allow it).

Sometimes when I come home and my puppy jumps to greet me with snuggles and kisses, I feel a little like the Grinch at the moment his heart grew three sizes. I have so much love for these doggies. It is somewhat bittersweet though. It’s a manifestation of the abundance of love and nurturing inside of me that has been just waiting to come out. It confirms for me that I would have indeed been a great mom if having children were still an option; however, it also proves to me that I can love any baby as if it were my own, even if it is a puppy.
Written by Jeannette Vagnozzi
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Name: Jeannette
Location: Southern California, USA

This is my story about being diagnosed with breast cancer at age 39. I thought I was out of the woods, but four years late it came back. This is my quest to be a two-time survivor.

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