Your smile awoke the sun the day we met. I know it was a dream, but it felt as real as any other moment in my life. I remember every detail about that first moment I saw you. The sky was the bluest blue with big white puffy clouds. The blades of grass felt cool between my toes. In the distance, a line of rose bushes with hundreds of full white blossoms in front of a white picket fence. I came down to one knee and we locked eyes. The soft feel of the cotton shirt you wore is still at the tips of my fingers. The color of your skin was a golden olive-tone and the sparkle of your eyes was unmistakable. As the wind gently blew the wisps of your fine golden brown hair back, there was no denying who you were.

Every word of our conversation is still alive in my memory even though so many years have passed since I saw you. The excitement in your voice remains an almost tangible memory. You couldn’t wait to tell me who you were and how much you wanted to come stay with me.

“Hurry,” you said, “I’ve been waiting so long. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Those words haunted me, echoing in my ears, as tears stained my face many a night. If we couldn't be together, why did we ever meet?

What was so important that diverted my attention away from you? What was the lesson I was supposed to learn before we could meet again? How could I have not made you my priority? Why did I think I was not worthy of you?

I have always believed there was hope we would meet again, but now I realize that the time has passed. You are where you are supposed to be and I am here, left with only a memory from a dream that will never greet me in a rose garden, never wear that soft cotton shirt, never feel the love I have for you. I’m sorry I let you down. In opting to save my own life, I lost the chance to ever give you yours. Y