The summer is a terrible time to get medical appointments because doctors take vacations too.  You'd think they could just prescribe something to feel like they had taken a vacation and then carry out their normal schedule.  Seriously, I want them to take a vacation and be healthy and refreshed so we get the best care.  It was a bit of struggle to be seen at Wilshire Oncology, but I guess I sounded so pathetic they decided to squeeze me in before my doctor went on vacation.  I had to drop off a completed extensive medical history questionnaire.  When I went into the office, the reality of what was happening was quite apparent.  Patients in the waiting room were wearing wigs and patients were coming out of rooms with their chemo IV's and I was shocked.  The patients seemed like shells of their former selves.  No one was smiling, they seemed weak, and there was a desperate sadness hanging around them.  I wanted to turn and run out and never go back.  I didn't want to be one of them.  I dropped my paperwork off and left knowing I had no choice but to go back in just two days.
 
It just so happened that the same day I was dealing with a hematoma (a pooling of blood around the incision) and a slight infection from the first surgery.  I was uncomfortable, in some slight pain, and still in shock from the cancer diagnosis.  I remember laying in bed on July 7th and my breast was oozing and painful and I was just thinking, "God, I don't even have the strength at this moment to ask You for help.  Please, just give me what I need to get through this."  The next morning I awoke and prepared to go back to the oncologist.